From the November/December Issue of Focus East Coast Skateboarding Culture Magazine:

Naysayer Road Trip :: From The Apple To The Orange
Words :: Eby Ghafarian Photography :: Ben Kilpatrick

Traveling the country with skateboards can be a great experience full of fun and laughter, but there is a whole other side to it, as well…and that is what I am going to focus on here. Don’t get me wrong; we had a ton of fun and experiences we will remember forever, but we are Naysayers and will focus on the bad. You don’t need to hear about our inside jokes. You don’t want to read about the awkwardly hilarious encounters the three Parisians with us had in the dirty south. You have no desire to be told of, tour guest, Piro Sierra’s drunken antics resulting in one-liners that would make Bob Saget blush. And why would you even care about the suspect sleeping arrangements, from the Tetris board of bodies on the floor of many abodes to Maurice and Gregoire’s frequent, yet unintentional, snuggles in the back of the Charger? You just had to have been there. What is more important to you is what you should be wary of next time you hit the road with your homies; things not to do and what to look out for when traveling three thousand miles from NYC to Florida and back. Don’t say we didn’t warn you…

No Sleep
Sleep is a waste of your limited, thus valuable time. Party all you want into the wee hours of the morning, but you better keep your momentum going through the rest of the day with skateboarding. After all, every hour of daylight you spend sleeping instead of skating, an angel dies. Don’t kill angels with your laziness. And don’t complain that you just went to sleep 2 hours ago when I wake you up at 9am to skate, busters.

BP = Oil Spills
Remember when BP spilled out tons of oil into the Gulf of Mexico like some marks? We did, so we boycotted those Brits and would drive way off the beaten path to find gas elsewhere. Only when you stop using BP do you realize how HUGE they are! How are they still in business?! Down with those fools!

Tit For Tat
Want to see some tits on the road? Stop right there and listen to these words: you get what you pay for. Unless you are driving through Mardi Gras or Panama City Beach during Spring Break, it doesn’t matter how clever a sign you make, you aren’t going to get flashed young, perky tits from a hottie. What you are going to get is a window full of floppy boobage courtesy of some fatties/oldies looking to get the attention of some young skater boys. Some things cannot be unseen, so don’t take the risk.

Riding the Heat Wave
Don’t go on tour in late July, especially down south! With only two days of the two-week trip not breaking 100 degrees, it isn’t possible to drink as fast as you sweat. Perhaps your childhood dream of becoming California Raisin will finally come true, but please dry up before getting back in the car. The vehicles will smell beyond prime by the second city.

Mobbing the Spot
Crowds tend to draw attention, especially out side of NYC. So when you are rolling nine deep, on top of the people showing you around, people will take notice. You will get kicked out of spots and have the cops called by people too intimidated to give you the boot themselves. Oh, you should also leave as much trash behind at spots too. I hear that is a great way to stake claim on a spot for skaters and totally doesn’t ruin things for the locals in whatever city you are in.

This was the first ever Naysayer Skateboards tour, so we learned a lot along the way. We learned to be careful where you park when barging a pool in an apartment complex at 2am, otherwise you will all end up in your wet boxers surrounding the tow truck driver negotiating what you can pay him to not tow you. We also learned that skateboarders are still down to help each other out. We only had a place to crash set up in a couple of the cities with full intentions of camping when all else failed, but were hooked up by some amazing people all along the East Coast, including ones we met that very same day. We would like to give a shout out to all of the people that put us up and all of the skate shops that linked us up with some of those people and gave us spots lists. Moral of the story: don’t listen to anything I just said. Just jump in the van and figure it out as you go…

JERRY YATES [nosegrind gap out] Birmingham, AL

PIRO SIERRA [lipslide from bank to bank] Philadelphia, PA

MAURICE LEEKE [noseblunt] Atlanta, GA

PIRO SIERRA [50-50] Brooklyn, NY

EBY GHAFARIAN [frontside wallride] Charlotte, NC

NABI SALOMON* [nosegrind end to end**] Manhattan, NY
(*Nabi’s last name was spelled wrong & **it said the nosegrind was a pop out in the article caption, it happens…)